Well, That's The Thing

One week left. I suddenly feel panicky, not because i am scared of enlisting, but because i have unfulfilled business to handle.

When things changed, i don't. Not going to do anything to turn it around. Unless its my fault that i messed it up, but more than often i don't feel that its my fault, so dun try to make me guilty of it. Not going to rectify any shit that i didnt do. So yea, suck it up people. Pretty sick and tired of giving a fucking damn for friends that actually imposed the guilty feeling on me.

The different grades of friends we have.

Dust On The Ground

Thoughts rampant, words lost.

It has been long since i last been to a wake. Yesterday, i went to my friend's dad wake since 4pm till 7am this morning. When i first reached, it hit me hard enough that i am at a loss of words. I mean for him to lose someone that close and coping that well, it left me thinking, can i be the same as him or will i just lose sight? Shudders at every thought and looking at his dad laying right inside just siphon even the simplest thing right out of my mind, as if i am a walking dead.

That aside, i saw Alvy and Hobart there as well. Alvy especially since we had not talked since an incident and it was a pretty good catch up with him. He really matured quite a lot compared to when he was still sec 2. And its really nice of him to tell me that he really missed the time we hanged out together when i was sec 4 and he was sec 2 and that, that was the most memorable days that he had in secondary school. I mean like seriously, i am a sucker for this kind of comments. Be it from a guy or girl.

And lastly, this few nights i have been thinking a lot, and i think i really have inferior complex. There's just too much pessimism in me that causes my confidence level to ebb. I think i am just another ball-less loser. So many fears that couldn't be contained but could easily be concealed under the veil of awesomeness.

When you worry too much, your worries becomes reality.

Miss or Not, No Matter

Love can happen anywhere, at any time.

Ya know, this statement made me wonder, is it like a love relationship it's referring to or making love. Its like when someone breaks up with her boyfriend and feel that her world has collapsed and she miss him and blah blah blah every single day of these two months, and all of a sudden, she got together with another party. I mean it makes me wonder how much love is involved. How hard the bed creaks each night instead of emotionally.

It totally makes me think that either she is desperate, or that she is too used to having a guy right there for her. It appears that if she is without a boyfriend, her life is meaningless. Come on, get a life, you do know that your life sucks. Think about how people will perceived you. I mean its pretty disgusting if you are just using another guy to forget your ex and if not you are an utter slut desperate for guy. Either way, you suck. Don't go telling people that you ain't a whore when the next moment you are seen as a whore.

Anyway, with all these said, i do shun away and give up because i don't really know what love is and i might continue doing just that. There's just too many factors involved that deters me. A constant barrage of 'no' to going into a relationship.

Sorry if the above story seems applicable to you, but this was the most recent case and i have known quite a few others that have the same life diss-gusting story.

Steer your destiny's hot rod before its too late to earn any epitaph.

Talking To The Moon

NS is creeping nearer every minute and all i want is for me to master swimming. I have no mood for all else, not even clubbing nor playing poker. This totally sucks.

Oh, a note, i shall make it a point to backpack Japan, just one day, i did be gone from here, and there i did make my presence known. Another thing is that i hereby promise to pick up something during NS just for the sake of personal gratification.

All these aside, what's the woe of watching fashion shows? Apparently, it is the fact that the lack of money to don what those models are showcasing and the idea to create a personal line of fashion. I shall start my humble assault on the commonplace when inspirations strike. The woes aside, there's nothing to hate about it. You get the best of both world in admiring the beauty of ladies and the quaint pieces that shout statements. http://live.marcjacobs.com/live/ I love how Marc Jacobs kickoff his show. Very whimsical.

Bleak are the days ahead. Shallow water runs deep under cover.

In The Sun

Back from bangkok with Jeremy. I would say most of the trips are pretty interesting and even though i got scammed i still liked it, at least i experienced the feeling of getting scammed. I mean its minor scam not those huge scam that is pulled on me. The trip would have been better if i have much more cash and the fact i know i have ultra mood swing which annoyed Jeremy badly, but you cant blame me fully cuz what he said sometimes makes no sense, like trolling statements, and if it really is so, he got me. Also i am damn tired somehow there, as if there's major time shift, which is weird. Other than that, life's good there and i half learnt how to swim already. =D Thanks to Jeremy. Time to utilize every second that i am awake to its fullest. Ciao.

Restless.

Under The Influence

People that have affected me. I shall not talk about my family because its apparent that they have influenced me since young. In this post, it will be of people that i hang around with or know of that have made an impact in my life.

My artistic friend, Jian Wei, even though we don't hang out together at all, but just by looking at his artwork and whats not, it always make me feel like i got to draw and i am pretty thankful for the fact i even met him in my secondary school, a certain someone that i wanna be, someone musically and artistically inclined. I got to say, looking at his secondary school drawing makes me want to mimic his drawings. hehe.

To Evangeline, honestly, i felt that i lose a really good friend and i might never get you back, when i type this, its almost definite. haha. But i really like your company, the incessant talks and what's not that we had, how i subconsciously roll my eyes now. Even now when its someone else, i would try to find similarities between them and you. It felt like a part of me have never moved on, it lingers, waiting and waiting.

Andrik, the master of sensuality has definitely opened my world to a less innocent world than i would have thought, changed the way i speak and face people, for better or worse, i still love this big boy. A motivator like him paired with quirkiness.

You exposed me to sexuality and every single time this topic is up, be it in shows or through chatters, you flashed into my mind, and honestly, i hate every single guy friends that you have, but its okay since i have moved on. You may have scarred me but a man without scars ain't a real man.

Jia Wei, the guy that i got close to after secondary school, thanks for exposing me to the vast interest that you have, which makes me become a person with much more interest than before, even if it's all short-lived. lol. We fancy the same stuff more or less, like vintage and whats not, and as much as your attitude might come off as a little hypocritical or what, it doesn't matter, because your other qualities made up for it.

Julien, the hyperactive girl that remains in contact with me after so long. Oh, i mean temporary acquaintance as i won't even hear from her whenever she gets herself a boyfriend. A pretty sweet girl that is ever so busy with friends and the one that connects me to Jia Wei. Sometimes i wonder how she keep up with having so many friends and ever so busy schedule. I admit sometimes you annoy me with your foolishness but somehow we are still hanging out together.

As for you Hui Min, honestly, you annoy me with your ever so frequent tardiness and your ditching. Oh, not forgetting to say how hard it is to return after you borrowed something from me, honestly, none of the things i lend you, have i ever taken it back. So FUCK your life. you taught me that girls like you are always late, so i shouldn't be early, for you especially, i don't really feel bad when i am late meeting you. Call that retribution.

Last but not least, Pearle, one that is there to carry me when i am too lazy to move on, the one who taught me much about the people and influence me just by her words. Damn girl. In retrospect, i wouldn't have hang out with many if not for her. As promised, all is due by the end of today. ;)

But still, i got to thank society for shaping the best of me, or worst, whatever you guys deem i am, because you know without you assholes, i wouldn't be as awesome as i am.

On this day, i pledge, to be someone awesome.

Baby, Its Fact

Due to the backlog that i am facing, i have decided to clear all of it today!

Instead of having 2 different post, i have decided to combine it into one as i am not a food critic. Just trying to write it down for my future reference.

So i went for brunch at Wild Honey with Jia Wei & his sister(shamelessly tag along but we forgive her, as quoted from Jia Wei). We reached at 1130 but we were only given seats at 1230, roughly an hour's wait on a Sunday. The place is quite small(space limited) so i would recommend anyone who wants to eat there to reserve a seat instead of being a walk-in customer. The price of the food is pretty decent, at least for the English breakfast that i had, its so filling and the BACON is awesome. Pardon my carnal desire for pigs. Nawt, just kidding. For brunch at least, the whole place is as bustling as can be, fast-paced so you can't really lay back and relax. After eating, the only thing i feel like doing is to lay down and sleep. I am leading my life like a sloth, its sad, time to start calibrating my body clock and to train up for NS before i rot inside.

This aside, i just want to do up a list of facts about myself.

I think i am easily swayed by what people says, as much as i try not to be affected but somehow, words just seep pass my core fortitude and manifest itself.

I have weird thoughts like imagining how i would look like if i were to skin my own face and etc. Its like all these strange thoughts that makes me realised how weird i am and makes me agree with others that i am weird and different from the rest. I think i have the psychopath mentality.

Writer's block. I can't think of anything else as for now. I thought i have much to write, but i just can't seem to recall what i have in mind a few days ago.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i thought of one other fact, my confidence level is directly proportionate to the amount of money i have, so when i am only depleting my coffers without any input, my confidence level plunge straight down.

'Reality' is a relative concept.

Poker Face

I play for excitement.

Resist the temptation.

Poker has been pretty fun as of this point. It has been one of my two vices. Anyway, i have lost 100 bucks in a week for poker.

Some of my friends said i have been a aggressive poker player and it's hard to read whether i have decent cards or not, and some have been saying that i am easy to read and i like to spoil the market.

Fact is, i might be an aggressive player but i just seem to call 'All in' somehow, its like an addiction. It is just a stigma that there's no fun without any huge bets. Also, when i say all in before anyone does is because i know you guys will waste money if you all follow suit. I guess i wasn't really respecting the game, thus receiving karma.

Nelson said it is very exciting to play poker with me.

Nicholas said i am a very loose player and he likes me for it. lol.

KC said i have a very fixed style of playing. Like when i have cards that i can win with, i will play and give off an even stronger vibe than when i dun really have cards but still playing.

I am sorry Desmond, i will watch my play from now on, to prevent spoiling of market.

In the heat of passion, we do foolish stuff.

Have You Ever

I might be a lot of things, but when it counts, you can trust me.

Meet up with Daphne for dinner. Supposed to be dining at Broun, but seems like it has closed down, so we decided to try out Bar Bar Black Sheep. You got to give it to them, a cute and attractive name actually helps in getting business. tsk. Serving is actually pretty big and the price range is pretty wide but still i would say if you order the right stuff, it is affordable, very. Alcohol is reasonably priced, beer is pretty decent too, price and selection wise.

"I am cool in a weird way."

Oh, i kind of detest people chaffering, whats more yoke with those oh-so-big actions. Like seriously.(ijustrolledmyeyessubconsciously)

Suddenly i got a whole lot on my mind. I swear on my arms, in the future, if i even have one, i did have one room just to paint. I want painting to be one of the hobby that i know i did like, i just need to pursue it, however much it will frustrate me. Be it good or not, rich or poor. It did be a passion that i did chase. A forger i did make out of. That at least i did know that i have tried.

All's fair in love and war.

Usually, one hit wonders are the things that hit us most and leave us musing.

Would you want to have a masterpiece, or pieces that are just good but never good enough?

The Dead Poet

An eighth of an inch above the shoes.

Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.

- Louis de Bernieres

Time to don the suit and pick up the pace. If it isn't now, when's a better time.

Monster

One that could make your pessimism go and fill you up with optimism.

Today my emotions is like human pulse. One moment it is sky high, and the next it just plunged to the depth of the world. Reading people's blog also makes me feel down. Today's work made me love my workplace and i already miss my uber funny and cute colleagues. Why i so famous in my office even as a temp? haha. Heard so many gossips regarding me. Everyone's attached, why like that? I sad.

I honestly feel damn down, like i have no purpose in life, nothing to look forward to, come on, i need a purpose in life, i feel damn negative now! Shit this negative aura that is diffusing from the world. I feel like shit now. The deal of self-annihilation. Stop the world from turning into a monster.

Interesting how she read me.

Sometimes u appear to be happy,but actually u've got a lot of hidden worries and insecurities in u.maybe i think too much.. - Li Jing

When you hear my cries, save me from my distress.

Casanova

Went for dinner at Dallas with Eileen tonight. It was a pretty nice place. Ambience and everything. Eileen was gobbling up her meal while i was eating mine at a snail pace. It was a nice meetup with her and i will definitely catch her up soon. Thanks for the treat. haha. It was a surprise that you even msg me out of the blue to tell me you want to meet me and treat me dinner. lol. <3

And i received my birthday card from Meiying! haha, thanks. Its so cute. "RING-A-DING. . . . . THE BOSS IS HERE". Love the card. We can always go foodhunt, cuz i can't really think of any place to eat. haha. Expeditions! hehehe. And yup, ann siang is one of my favourite place. hehe.

Life has been quite a bliss recently.

Would you play this game or lose this hand?

Pain

Yesterday was another awesome day for me. Went to celebrate my birthday with Jeremy, Pearle & Violet at Sentosa. Bananaboat and Kayaking kills but it was uber fun. Was so shagged after the day and when i woke up today, my whole body aches so badly, and i have cuts all over me. My leg also keep sticking on my shoes due to the blood oozing out. =x Pain is something i couldn't get enough. It's a note that keeps me sane.

To my cute little gentle giant, Jeremy. I know you have always got my back and you know i will always get yours too. Really appreciated all that you have done since we were kids. NAWT, just kidding, since we became close, so close we could touch. lol. kidding. Sometimes i flared at random moments but you should know i didnt mean it. Its like some things just get to me somehow. =) Either way, thanks for being such a good friend. Oh oh, last thing, i am really sorry for delaying whatever i have promised.

This is as good as the first celebration i had on sunday, Pearle. Just wanted to tell you that sometimes things might not feel like it will be as good, but more than often, it will turn out as good as others if not better. I really enjoyed the day. I really appreciate your presence even though you like to ninja on occasions, and not to forget that i could have heart to heart talk with. Even though i dunno whether are you being perfunctory with me, if you get what i mean. LOL!

VIOLET! The girl that is ever so busy with this and that. Thanks for the food that you prepared for the picnic. And also thanks for tolerating all my nonsense and my sarcasm and crap, you know i don't mean it. Sometimes i feel you like to do things on impulse and that i don't wish to say anything because i know it's futile and will end up with conflicts. But i just want you to know that i will be there if you need me and whatever i say in times like these will be of your interest no matter whether you think i am just being an asshole or what. Because being direct is a virtue, i dun like people to beat around the bush and thus i won't do it as well. =)

All in all, i love you guys.

Btw, the jacket hoodie is damn comfy. Thank you all once again. Kisses and hugs for you little kids. Oh, i am meeting Eileen tml. What up! And pictures will be up here as well once Violet send me or upload to facebook. =)

We could hang around for a little catch up, even if the world crashes before our eyes.

When Epilepsy Was Non-existent

Let's keep this raw.

Aites people. Today is such a wonderful day. Met with Julien, Jiawei, Hui min & Wenxin for my advanced celebration. Love these people, even if my heart would be smashed to smithereens.

I am sorry Jiawei. I got to say that is Julien's gift was the best. Really, things so simple just skyrocketed its worth. It's one of a kind. Love you Julien girl.

To my dearest like-minded soul who is warped in so many ways, i will only use the perfume when i meet the right one, i dunno why, but i guess that makes it special. ;) I will catch you soon, before you enlist. Do i hear an aite?

You are one of the guys (idonthavemanyguyfriendstobeginwith) that i really treat as a close friend and keep in contact with. I mean even though we weren't as close as what we used to be, but hanging out with you really makes me feel honoured(?) though often paired with inferiority but it doesn't matter. I hoped we did still keep in close contact in the future and you got to keep me updated with your eventful life. HEHE. If you dun know who i am referring to, yea, its you, Jiawei mai boi.

Huimin, Huimin, as much as i have been damn sarcastic with you everytime, you know that i meant it all as a joke, so please don't take it to heart. I shall be less sarcastic with you, and i know everytime i have been missing out on your occasions and etc but i really didn't mean it, i am truly sorry about it. Hugs and kisses. OH! Before i forget, pls be punctual k. Dun keep people waiting. Be nice. HAHAHAHA.

Last but not forgotten, the ever so cranky lady, Hu Wenxin. Thanks for the treat @ Red Dot Brewhouse. But when's our candlelit dinner? ;) Oh, and the thing you say about me always bullying you is unjustified. =( School's starting for you so prep yourself up for it, while your boy toy enters the army to protect our country. =) And damn you are decisive, like a cool only, why so cool? If only i could. haha. <3

Once again, thanks guys for the celebration, the gifts and all that you have done or not done and for sticking around with me for all these times, for all these times. Stay safe and till then.

The damsels and the sleazebags.

Harder To Breathe

May you live in interesting times.

May you find what you're looking for.

In a few day's time, there's going to be that many hypocritical people acting like we are friends and we are cool but the fact is that they are just passers-by in my life. ACQUAINTANCES. i call it.

Anne Vyalitsyna is damn hawt!

opps, sidetracked.

Can people just stop being perfunctory with me? I really got to ditch this whole bunch of assholes that just keep saying they are good to meet up but it never happened. Seriously, your mum teaches you ladies to be perfunctory? Tired of putting in effort for this kind of people. Efforts wasted. Life is hard to breathe enough, i don't need you nor you nor you.

I am hoping for a change. To kick start, i will drop contacts with all the perfunctory ladies. You all can go fuck yourself. Thanks. =)

What we could have been matters not, what we are matters.

Through Struggles

So much to say, so little to spare.

Disclaimer: If your livers are weak in handling vulgarities, please refrain from reading this post. You did be intoxicated and might pass out or even lead to death.

Wanted to find a picture for my watch but i just cant find it even in the official website, this company should really update their website more frequently for new designs. Anyway, that aside, am a proud owner of a SKAGEN watch.

I feel damn weak, i could break anytime now. Its been real tiring to hold all these shit inside me.

My inner demons are like blood-seeking feral monsters crying out. I am totally losing it, who wants to break me?

Can't stand people who are in the service industry yet their attitude are like shit. It's bad communication and etiquette training(if they are even sent for it) that makes service brought to us sucks. Like seriously, no mum teach them manners. Either that or that the wife, mum or daughter got raped so badly that they are venting their frustration on us, consumers. No joke. FUCKING TURNOFF, like the guy that works at vivo's citibank. Still dare to 'OI, XIAO DI' me, i should have retort with 'OI KI LAN, FUCK YOUR MUM' instead of 'SHE MO!'.

Note: I really hate people honking at me when i am crossing the road as a law abiding citizen. I won't hesitate to show them the fingers and tell them to go fuck their parents. Or maybe i will fuck the mum if she's hawt or like the daughter or something. Okay, kidding, shan't play parents or related people. but yea, that's how much i dislike being honked at.

Caught transformer with Julien and happened to bump into Hui Min at 313.

I just wish to smile like this genuinely. Is it that hard to be happy?

When i drop my false front, who would i be then?

Note to self: NEVER EVER.

The Shades Of Poison Trees

If i am to describe myself with one thing, it did be the classic wooden dummy. I take in all sorts of blows and treat it like nothing. Its a kind of implosion. It doesn't fight back no matter how hard it is hit. It just provides an equal force back on the person hitting it so as to not let itself break.

Someone told me that i often give the wrong impression once i am close to girls.

But they also agree that i banter so much that people does not know when i am serious or joking. So how is it possible that i give girls the impression that i like them? It does not make any sense to me.

Ruoqi said that i am egoistic but not confident. Do i really lag confidence?

Valerie said that i give off the vibe of 'I am super comfy being alone'. This reminds me of what Pearle said, 'to me, you don't look like the sort that would even fall in love', which Valerie also said.

Interesting what people actually thinks of me.

I just love people telling me how they perceive me. Intrigues me indefinitely.

Sometimes we don't clear the air for we don't want to be half-ass. The shot needs to be taken by someone else.

The Last Goodbye

You can't drop a bombshell without hurting anyone.

So damn tired everyday. Meetings for this week are like packed i hope. Dun cancel out on me people. haha.

I finally did something good.

Go Fly A Kite, this song is so apt for you.

It will hold its silence forever.

Part Of Me Wonders

When your cheeks are fat, there's no hiding it.

Today is a wild ride, from a uber shitty day to a somewhat fine day. Woke up to Pearle's call and i traveled down to SIM to crash the lecture, just to people watch.heh. But the people there are mehhhhh. Saw quite a few acquaintances and some was shocked when i said hi. I must have changed much. tsk tsk. Headed over to somerset after that to accompany Eileen while she works. And i freaking dropped my phone. pfft. As usual, its pretty funny to talk to her, like a short catch up. Off i go at 6 plus to meet Jiawei. Had our dinner at A.venue. Pretty awesome place and the waitress is pretty sweet looking though she is a definite scene kid. Jiawei was behaving like a lovelorn throughout and now he is such a happy kid. How i wish i did be like him. I have to admit i am pretty envious of his life. Somehow i feel inferior around him but i still like hanging out with him. I am just a fag i guess.

I found you. Stalking has never been made more fun. Approximately 20 tabs to find someone. I am so happy that Jiawei is going to treat me dinner for a week.

I guess i was born to please. tsk tsk.

Let's not be half-ass.

Be direct.

SWAG, i cant say enough how important this is.

I JUST WANT TO BE A NATURAL.

Oh, seriously, effort need to be seen. not just say.

If not, GTFO.

There's something real charming about girls when they play instruments. I am a sucker for this. The kind of sexiness not derived through pure looks but just awesomeness.

I just want to be at ease. I just want it to be simple.

I'm So Tired

BUSY BUSY WEEK.

Met Julien yesterday for dinner. At last, the 2 days event have ended, such torturous hours it have been. I did so woo Julien if i knew her 5 years ago. mehhh. Continuous working is really wearing me out, i am so lazy to even talk at all now.

Thursday dinner date. Friday is alcohol date. Sunday is bbq & alcohol date. Mahh gosh, so packed. Shall catch up with Wenxin next week hopefully. Miss her crazy self.

So many people i need to catch up with, yet so little time and money.

OH, i am now a member of benjamin barker, so if any of you buys from there, you can get my IC for discount. :)

I am a bringer of disappointment.

A liability.

Lazy to explain.

Terrified

"Wei she me hui zhe yang?"

When i heard this while you are asleep, it really caused tears to swell.

Damn, getting damn emotional.

Hope you can recover soon. like real soon.

Stay strong. Who wants to have a little getaway with me?

Opportunity To Cry

If only i could find a note to make you understand.

You are the first to experience all these shit from me. I am sorry that times and again i hurt you. But at least we sort it out and now everything's over.

If you ever need any help, i did be there to help you, but that's that, nothing more from me or from you.

This aside, life is getting more and more rough as time goes by, everyday's slur. Job, health, friends & everything, isn't working as well as i would hope it did be. Time for an escapade. Sometimes we got to disappear before we appear as another person. This is when change becomes obvious.

People come and go like they're on the interstate.

Sometimes

Sometimes people just like to play the pull and push game.

Sometimes when one pushes the other too hard, the other will be gone.

Sometimes the inertia causes the one who pushes to move along with the other.

Sometimes when pulled, the person just come closer,

and at others, the person got pulled too hard so much that it hits the person that pull and be flung away.

Life is taking a dive and i am all psyched for what's hitting. Hit me hard pls. I deserve more than just a beating. Because yet again, i have been mean. Like what people has been calling me recently, meanie i am, meanie i am.

You bring out the worst in me. The first to.

I shall go on a hiatus soon.

Were the leap of faith so tough, i did still take it and plunge. Because it makes my life complete.

Promises, Promises

Sometimes we don't speak what we feel, for it's pointless.

This year has been eventful. Recently so many things has been happening, how long can i keep up before i crumble?

Recover fast pls. Never want to lose anyone.

Been weak enough. I can't hold out much longer.

I can't wait to get out of all these things. I really need to live in a make believe world, even if its only for a few days.

P.S How apt is this song for me.

I really want a getaway trip with you.

Let Me Go

You made your choice, now is to reap it. ;)

You might be one of my regret, but it's one i could live with.

No questions asked.

When i turn my back this time, there's no turning back.

I Need A Doctor

To take a leap of faith or to be on a constant standstill.

Was wavering between this and i decided to ask some people what would their choice be. Most replied with leap of faith.

Guess i am on a constant self denial thinking i am staying away but all i was actually doing was standing on the same ground motionless.

We never know what we might get for risking, so why not risk it.

Some things you just have to spend time waiting for.

Since thursday i have been vomiting and having runs till today. I guess it calls for me to visit the doctor.

For what it's worth.

Teenage Angst

Major Pet Peeves

#1 When after every sentence of mine, bonebags replied the same thing, 3 is the key.

#2 People giving me the impatient/bossy tone.

#3 People who tries to stand on a moral high ground.

Deep down, i just try to push everyone that's close or could be close to me further away from me so that no one could enter my comfort zone. Its this constant that keeps me safe. I doubt anyone can handle me for who i am because i am just an enigma leaving everything in the grey area.

I ain't what you people think i am. I am worse than you expect.

You can call me change or constant.

I'm Sorry

Short-fused.

To you and any other.

I am really sorry if my words were too harsh or sarcastic towards you. Ever since i started working, i have been very tired and that its even more tiring to explain everything that i have said. It somehow gets on my nerve to keep explaining what i mean and what i am referring to. My memories have been failing me as well and to refer back to the message to explain is cumbersome.

Sometimes i just wonder, why do we even speak to each other if we ain't on the same frequency. It just doesn't make sense for us to even communicate.

I don't know whether you will even see this or that you might think its just excuses, but it doesn't change anything that i want to tell you. Maybe you are better off not contacting me. Maybe i ain't worth your time. I guess thats about all i want to let you know and any other that i have been giving the cold shoulder to.

Chao people.

Yet another impression formed. Well, maybe, but i don't really care.

I Melt With You

I find myself a joke. Joke's on me.

Third time i have broke down because of a friend. Seriously, how emotional can i get with people i am close to. I really hate being close to people and to take a leap of faith just to experience the fall is excruciating. Even typing this gets my tears welled and swelled.

Shit-stirrers ought to die.

On the side note, work's been fun. Even though communication is minimal and workload is mad loads, but at least i am happy there. I just love interaction. Now i have my fan club and rumoured girlfriend at work. tsk. Crazy bunch. Sad they are leaving office next friday. I will so miss them. No more joy, no more fun, no more shit, just work.

You know i can't stay mad at you for long.

You Can Do Better

Do what thou wilt.

People tell me that they never thought i did fall for and i can do better. But if that's the case, i guess i have been finding the exact definition of better for the past 20 years. The answer that i found is nothing but vague.

Human are cheap.

We cheapen ourselves to know that there are others out there that want us.

I like how people say anything. Being honest with how they feel and saying what they mean to people they meant it for. This is called real honesty and not some 'being honest' but in fact it's with hidden agenda.

Oh, did i mentioned, i drank a cup of vodka(spiced coffee with almond flavoured) mixed with apple tea, tomato juice, sambal chilli and pearle's hand that have dog fur dipped inside. Asswipe unhygienic and sick drink.

P.S Was that for me? And if it is, if you don't say, how would you know? Again. Just treat it that i am the asshole. okay. I will drift and you will continue with your amazing life. =)

First you ask me to grow up, now you say this. You know its amusing. What you say and what you mean, you told your boyfriend there are guys wooing you because you think it's good to be honest, but you left out the other truth, which is that you are going out with people that are trying to get you. By doing that, you just hope that after you do this, your boyfriend will try and treasure you more because you are wanted by people. Don't tell me thats not one of the motive, because it is. The reason why you are still sticking with your boyfriend is cause you want what you can't have. You know that you might lose him to some other FUGLY girls, so he became a trophy that you are fighting for. Is this what you call love? Okay, now that you have read this, you might feel like i am a jerk. But honestly, if i didnt even care, i wouldn't even give a damn about you. Like i said, refer back to my caption above.

Why do i even assume things?! Because you don't say who you meant it for. I can only assume as best i can. There's other channels you can communicate with me but you choose twitter and you simply have too many guys in your life to even know which tweet is for who. That aside, does going out with friends entitles you to tell only the things that you think will keep all else as it is? Truth is, you can't have the best of both world. You can use that as a valid point and take your stand. Seriously, you are merely finding excuses. If you keep this up, do you think you can even last a lifetime with him? No! Stop kidding yourself. Maybe you can use all this as examples and ask your friends what do you think this girl is doing, and they might tell you the same things too. Go on, try it. Also the reason why i stopped asking you out is i don't wish for you to keep lying to your boyfriend. It isn't fair for any of us.

What am i really? I think i am pretty undefined. We can't right the errs we have.

M.I.L.F

Topic for the day

I am actually the topic of the day in my office when my presence is not there. lol. Seems like i got myself a fan club. Heard from the temp that my department perm staff gathered around during office hour to talk about me. They also said i look like 方大同, 盧廣仲 & 吳克群. So weird of them to talk about me. lol. Though i don't deny it made me feel good in a way. lol.

Watched Arthur with my colleagues. Totally love the show. Somehow it managed to affect my emotion drastically. Such a sweet show.

I would so love to date you. I guess. haha. Time for a new haircut. Wait up, people.

I guess this is the best week i ever have up till now. Simple things really make my life happier.

BBQ TML! YES!

Steal not from thy child

For it was not a silver spoon

Hide not from thee brightest moon

For it lit the darkest room.

P.S The worse excuse is also the best excuse. Because it's undeniably obvious yet unable to refute.

P.P.S I hate coded text. Its equivalent to a 'FUCK YOU' in the face.

P.P.P.S To this point, people can't say what they feel with ease. Seriously, 21st century is fucked.

P.P.P.P.S Now i don't know where this is headed, but we should just chill, and think it through. Or don't. Okay, its my bad, i shouldn't have said anything, i am sorry. Don't cry or anything please. Just go and sleep it off.

Who is there to make me believe in make believe again?

Don't Work Yourself Up

Don't try to step over the line.

Guys should stop trying to demean your girlfriends.

Girl should stop sticking in the rut and let themselves be ruined.

Be smart, act up.

Relationship really screws people up. Keep your cool.

Consoling is harder when you can't whisper sweet nothing.

Funny how people can be that desperate. Seriously, you are heading to shithole. You better wake up before you are covered in shit.

Time to get closer to Sancia. WIN! haha.

Stella stella hangs above,

Admire the midgets from afar,

Curve into a slit it went,

Broke a grin, buckle your belt.

I am feeling better and better as good friday draws nearer. Damn, how long can this last. hah.

PARTY ROCK ANTHEM playing through my mind everyday. Shuffle like a rockstar.

We will see how everything goes.

Numb

Let work be fun.

If you choose to smother your feelings, do it fully, and if you have something to say, say it to the person whom you meant it for.

I realise when i am working, my weekdays are shortened and i become lifeless.

Its always outflow, there's no inflow in my life.

I don't get it. Am i the fallback? What are you playing? Weird how this play out. But i did say thats a good play on your part. In hindsight, everything's pretty clear. Well played.

Life really does not have a balance afterall.

Two Guys (For Every Girl)

Talk about barter trade. You lose a guy to get a toy.

I should be paid more, i am severely underpaid. Who wakes up on a saturday morning thinking about work for the upcoming week? Apparently i did. I still can't figure out how should i go about doing up an excel spreadsheet to calculate forex individually. For the sake of being more efficient, they let a temp staff that just started work to do this. What's more, i have another 2 more work on hand. Kill me pls.

I feel so tired everyday. Thank goodness the temp staff around there are friendly. One temp asked whether i am fine watching with them chick flick on this coming thursday, and before i could answer, another temp replied in place of me, 'he sure fine one lah, look at him, already one of us.' lol. I got a shock as it was my first day and i didn't even speak much with them. And the impression i left on them is quite quiet i think, at least they don't think i am weird. tsk tsk. Its so unfair, the girls get to dress down on friday yet guys have to be formal everyday. =(

I missed a chance to know a hawt girl. Godsend. I need to head to OM to get the ripped tank top. gah, when will i have time to do that?

Everyday until the end of this month, i will suffer. But after this month, i will start to shuffle. Talk about word play. ;)

I miss you and you. What about you and you?

Take Me Out

Confirmation Bias.

I am as good as DEAD. Lie low, stay close.

This few days have been pretty decent and funny. Work is a killer though.

I ain't your fallback. There's no safety line.

The Ballad Of Mona Lisa

Say what you mean tell me I'm right and let the sun rain down on me give me a sign.

Today is a eventful yet disappointing day.

Received so many jobs positions and i am still hoping to get the 2k per month job. Please let me get it. I am crazy over this 2k job. Desperate over it actually. Screwing myself over this.

Went Jeremy's house supposed to gym and swim. But just so coincidental, both are closed for repainting. Ended up doing a few pull ups. When they opened the swimming pool, it drizzled, but we still went ahead, until it started pouring. We went to the jacuzzi instead. Feels so good even though the rain keeps hitting on our head and face like some powerless toy hammer. Shifted our belongings to a supposedly sheltered umbrella table. When we saw the lightning, we got out of the water to claim our stuff only to realised that all our stuff are drenched because the damn umbrella is spoilt and have a hole above. Thankfully i brought a shirt for jeremy to try it out, if not i did be topless. tsk. After which we went for ice cream buffet that actually made us drowsy. Something is really wrong with swensen's ice cream.

Stop calling me No. 9. It is so weird.

Sexy ask me whether i clubbing tomorrow. lol. Sad that i am starting work on thursday. We shall club when i get my pay, don't sad. ;)

Maybe holding out will pay off eventually, but i am really tired.

One human, two saint, three choice.

P.S Btw, thanks for the gift, Meiying, it slipped my mind the other day.

Don't try to play god, you won't get away with it.

The Other Side

You won't want to see.

Rough patch.

People keep me sane.

Ice cream buffet tml. Meetup with Eileen on wed. Dinner on thursday. Oh Oh! Tml's free cone day.

Fuck job hunting, its taking forever, i am picky, so are they.

Pick your choice before it bites. Say your prayers. You got someone to thank.

Something About You #2

And there's something about you now

that makes everything beautiful if i only believe

I delicate this song to myself because of you.

Sorry for the double post but this song is very apt in how i feel towards you.

Why do i have philistine friends? Where are all the connoisseur? I hate how i can't find someone to watch Macbeth with me. tsk.

P.S Nope. I am more curious about the other actually.

P.P.S I might. Drop me a call when it comes to that, i guess that's when you will find out.

Assumption is not fool-proof. Am i supposed to hold out for more?

Our Generation

Its the 21st century.

As much as i love vintage, i won't stop modernizing my mind.

'And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.'

- John VIII-XXXII

So i guess i deserve to know, don't i?

I can't wait for my extreme hairstyle. Come on job, i need you to make it happen.

You don't get to play the strings.

Something About You

There's something about you in me.

Went out and watch Sanctum. Pretty interesting show, though it seems a little weak. In the sense, the show tried to be inspirational but somehow failed to convey it in the strongest way possible. Just my two cents though.

Mei Ying says its extremely depressing. Heavy hearted. HAHA.

After that, we went to a dim sum place for dinner. So full. Whee~

Just a side note, my sandals are drenched for the first time, damn the rain.

Twice was never my thing. For certain people, i guess i did do it twice with no regret or angst.

Sometimes i wonder why does two incompatible people hang out together. As if we clique well together but the fact is we don't. So what is actually pulling us together? A little food for thought.

P.S Come to think of it, it's such a funny day for me.

Issues multiply endlessly, i am tired of solving it. Complete nincompoop.

I Fall All Over Again

im zusammenhang

Have you ever wanted some things so bad that you convinced yourself that the impossible is true?

Never ever settle for things that you know you will leave to regret, a constant reminder.

Unless the thing hits the mark, don't ever get it because better stuff comes by all the time and it's only when something hits the mark that you are able to at least convince yourself that you already have what you wanted.

Ambiguous talks because of the fear.

HELLO, THE PERFECT STALKER. ;)

You know the answer.

Which category am i in? Cause i guess i am barely hanging.

Haunted

Breakfast or High Tea? Anyone?

It was a wrong.

Short of another wrong to make it a right.

But guess i won't be getting the second wrong.

Now i am stuck in a highway,

with no U-turn for the next 1000 miles.

P.S The girl in this MV is hawt. At least so i think.

P.P.S Why you look so hawt when you are dancing?

P.P.P.S Just want to laugh at myself for suddenly feeling afraid of someone, because the person is pissed off by someone else.

Why am i even scared?! Seriously, i am such a pussy. I don't even know how to talk to the person now. Being afraid is one, but i think this is a whole new level. tsk.

Kept a rain check. Tears welled and subside.

Friends

Love for the lady. <3

Today is a tiring but eventful day.

Late for interview but its fine cause its a shit job and then meet with Xueying for a while at far east plaza before heading off to meet Wenxin. Such a good gal for accompanying me to jurong east for another interview. Thanks. :) Which amazingly, saw Pearle and Wiley there too. After which head over to Chinatown to meet with Julien. Walked to ann siang and then to maxwell for some light meal before heading down to city hall for our dinner. As usual, Hui min is late. Ate at Ximending, the food is alright but not filling enough, at least for me. Then I saw Christopher Tan Puay Liang. lol. Train to outram with Julien and we sat there for at least half an hour catching up, yet again, i saw Rui Chuen. Its such a coincidence to meet up with so many people today. Back at serangoon and i bought a pack of bee hoon to eat. I am such a gluttony these days.

People just keep pulling me back to the pit hole that i have been trying to climb out of. Why?

Please let me get a job soon so i can set in motion things that i have planned. :)

Meeting up with Mei Ying on either friday or saturday. And JP some time next week. Haven't met up with Eileen yet. The food is turning bad if this persists. tsk.

Stay safe, don't sweat.

I can't stand how i keep going back.

Like Or Like Like

Sometimes, it's all about the concept.

Had an interesting conversation with the Pearle, Jeremy & Violet after our pizza meal, which we opt for since we didn't feel like bbq-ing eventually. Sorry for the effort, ladies.

So here goes, positive aspects of me, Pearle said i am a fun loving person, spontaneous. Jeremy said i am reliable & trustworthy. Violet said i am a gentleman. Surprisingly. Which Pearle felt i am more of protective than a gentleman. tsk tsk. Either way, its positive i guess.

As for the negative aspects, i like to keep things grey, a sign of indecisiveness, as said by Pearle. I guess this explains why i am bad at departures and maybe i just don't want to know the truth, maybe i just like the process but not the result. This is also why dozens of people thinks i am queer. I somehow mind-fuck people, at least people who even care about what i feel. tsk. Angsty is the word i get from Jeremy, which i guess everyone knows. Violet feels that i say things i don't meant. AWESOME! okay, i don't know why this is awesome, but i like it, it seems positive to me.

We will never find out.

I still can't find a word to substitute 'sweetheart'. Gah.

Morning Benders, Telekinesis, Moldy Peach, Miniature Tigers and The Everyday Visuals. Genres that appeals to me now. hah.

Happiness is a concept few grasps hold of.

Mr Curiosity

Not again, not heading back to where i was.

'No, every time, i'm walking down that tunnel. Every time, and once i find out what's at the end, i will figure it out then, but at least i'll know. I'll, I'll know.'

'Why would you not want to know?'

-Weeds

Curiosity is a curse.

Today i received 3 offers for 3 different jobs. One i gave up, one i am pending and the last, gave me up due to the ambiguity of enlistment for FUCKING NS. Being anal about it aside, i feel quite glad somehow, like i am wanted, maybe i just like the feel of knowing that i am wanted by things. I guess it's the sense of belonging that i lust after.

When excuses runs out, repeat the same excuses and wait for others to believe, maybe then you will understand how stupid you sound.

The need to feel humane.

We are all flawed like any other. There's no moral high grounds for any of us.

Rescue Me

Some people just want to be spoon-fed. Spineless.

Recently my dreams are in a dissonance. Ever so real. The most recent is someone playing guitar. Getting cranky or hallucinating. Either way works.

Can't wait to crash Desmond's house tomorrow night to welcome his 23rd Birthday. Awesome much. Paired with Hoegaarden. Woots. Tuesday would be bbq with my own clique at Jeremy's condominium. Wednesday might be meeting up with Hui min, Wenxin and Julien. Such interesting life. It could be made better if i am being called up for interview and actually successfully getting a job. My life would be more than perfect. Hah, i sound so easily contented.

A few more meetups before i am done with everything. Time to earn money before Nelson is back and off we go splurging on alcohol and club. More of alcohol for me, since they have been providing more than often. Getting sick of clubbing too. Ironic much. May is the month where we see money pouring outwards.

Oh Land and You Me At Six are pretty good. April Smith is kind of interesting to listen.

Suddenly i have a new haircut i want to cut and a new dressing style. Sex it up. ;)

We can never be normal. Normal is subjective.

No Regrets

If it's a neverending game, then i guess i will play it for life. This is what gives purpose.

Like an addiction.

Avi Melech/Reyes. What nice name to give a kid.

Weeds is getting more interesting and nice. Family issues spiraling out of control yet still heartwarming. Have some really nice phrase that are meaningful. Open to interpretation.

'I am almost inclined to not ask you out again, just to show you how wrong you are about me.'

-Weeds

'You love to be loved. You pull all this love in. You build it all up in your head, and when it gets too close, you run.'

-Weeds

'Don't sit here and tell me you want to be someone else when you do fuck all to change what's going on.'

-Weeds

'Friendship in true love is ___.'

A) An overblown concept

B) A fundamental concept

C) A waste of time

D) A bonus

'At our core, the search for true love is driven by ____.'

A) Passion

B) Need for sex

C) Need for financial and emotional support

D) The basic human need to feel connected and leave the prison of aloneness

Such interesting questions.

If i treat it as a joyride, you did be the roller coaster.

Stupid For You

'People sometimes find themselves stuck in an unhappy relationship, where obviously there's something deeply wrong, and they stay because it's easier than to get themselves out of it.'

Caring alone isn't enough, same goes for love.

Obviously one sided.

Conscience makes a man do the right thing.

Sometimes i feel that there are many really stupid people out there.

A bottle a day, keeps me happy all day.

Do things with the right heart, it makes everything easier.

Tick tock, tick tock, inching closer.

Eat me alive every single moment i am awake. I am better off asleep.

These weak little excuses. When you munch them, you get karma.

Thankfully, i have no heart. You will get what you wanted.

My Last

'Death is no big deal because life is just... blah blah blah.'

'Life is just blah blah blah. You hope for blah. And sometimes you find it. But, mostly, it's blah and waiting for blah. And hoping you were right about the blahs you made. And then, just when you think you've got the whole blah damn thing figured out and you are surrounded by the ones you blah, death shows up. And BLAH, BLAH BLAH.'

-Weeds

Okay, i think i snapped. I couldn't handle this baggage like i thought i could.

Your issues are daunting. Honestly, i am at a loss. But i can't let myself drag on. One moment it's this feeling, one moment it's another. My mind is at a disorientation. Wave it off or tug it close.

Lose the steam that kept me on. Break the ties for it goes on.

Stay Close Don't Go

Something I will never do. Not under this circumstances at the very least.

Finally back from Taiwan. Pretty awesome country that i wish i could linger even longer to explore the suburban. Back at this place, how i dread it. From surrealism to the cold hard reality that continues to bewilders me.

You are such a two-face. I don't know how to face you anymore.

Being smart and meticulous does not make you anything, its simply allows you to apprehend more stuff, understand and notice minute details. Sometimes things just have to be kept from people that people didn't even let you in on, and this is the burden that you have to carry.

People do really change, for better or worse, it depends. Change is only effective when you feel uncomfortable.

Now that i am back, its meet up sessions and job seeking. Whee. I can't wait to meet those that i miss and those that wants to meet me. Excited much.

Everyone have their baggage. I just feel mine is bigger.

Decode

אהבה הוא א בעולם על את טיפשים

زه فکر کوم چې تاسو خطا ,غير أنّ ليس أنا يوقن أنمور.

Det er for meget i mine øjne, ja en tiedä mitä on todellinen.

Nu voi folosi de aceasta data sa cred ca prin, i nadam se da ste to previe

Mazel tov, muy bien a cikin fassara

Au Revoir, محبت.

تک, Mějte se a bezpečí.

Self note: Do no desperate buy.

P.S You deserve better, sweet girl. Trust me. =)

Say what you feel. Sometimes its good to act as if i ain't that smart.

Breakaway

Fugit Irreparabile Tempus

Most of the time we find excuses for the things we do, for it makes us feel better. But when the excuses runs out, that's the point when we can't cheat our way through it anymore, we got to be decisive and take a stand.

Leaving it dangling and doing it half hearted are things that one do when they are indecisive. Though its something that Jiawei is a master of. Decisiveness. Hope he's doing well on his part. Idiot, don't want to reply me. Can't even get him out now. What's going on?

Everyone's having trouble, relationship wise that is.

I like how my friend got frustrated with me and make me guilty and be decisive. Thanks to that, i have also finally taken my stand, and thats what i will hold to, at least for as long as i can. Snap snap, wake up my ideas. I actually have conscience. :) Okay, peace out.

P.S I can't stand the silence at home, it makes my every cells cringe.

My little escapade. My little sweet romance.

Fuck Was I

I just need to remain vacuous.

Yesterday meetup with Pearle, Jeremy & Violet is so so so good. I like how i am silent most of the time and i can just laugh or smile for no apparent reason. Really blissful. Everyone's pretty emo yesterday though. Seems like life has been hitting harder on us than i ever expected. Taiwan in 6 more days. Party like tsunami is hitting, it will keep my mind off any obstructions. Hopefully. Tomorrow! HTHT with Pearle, Thursday, joyride with Yan Ling, Friday, catching performance with cousins, Saturday and Sunday, work and god knows.

We are all marionettes of time and life.

Curse and swear, life and death.

Bachelor's button blooms and fade

Watch the sign for it tells fate

Miss the number and thou hates

Requite or not, its thy choice

Forget me not, Myosotis

It symbolizes remembrance

Of what unpretentious and daintiness

Time is off the equation

Weep not at the mortality

Dance not when life blossom

Harmonious like a cosmos

When everything lies on the same plane

As commelinaceae as it sound,

Its but lighthearted whisper,

As mediocre as it seems,

Its done with heartfelt joy.

P.S What the fuck am i doing with my life? Its like a downward spiral. Maybe its good to lose myself, for it loses life. Isn't it more carefree to not be so stringent with your own life, care less, worry less and lose less. Everything will seem even better. Urgh, beef me up like a jerk.

Foolish to be indecisive, futile to try and take a stand.

Don't Get It Twisted

'Some people just fall for the wrong person.'

'Don't make empty talks, Do the talk and walk the walk.'

There's so much on my mind, this is the only place that i could rant without catching too much attention or any actually.

My mind is wired up. I am getting major migraine. Its like a love hate thing that is up my mind.

I feel really bad. Fast forward to sunday pls.

I am just too eccentric to be close to people, ain't i. Like an enigma.

After musing over a long while, I feel like tattooing both my forearms. Maybe more people will shun me. Or maybe no one will even give a damn.

I really hate being atypical person that you can find anywhere along the street. Yet i just want to blend in so well that i am unnoticeable. Have u had this contradicting thoughts? I am a freaking paradox, a puzzle i myself cannot solve.

P.S My mood changes with yours. Chameleon much.

Embrace mother nature. Don't scared. Let's dance in joy of death and life.

Brighter than Sunshine

Matthew Hales

I like how he looks in 'Brighter than Sunshine'. HAWT! The way i want to be seen. I sound like a fanboy suddenly. tsk. Ouch, money is always hindering. When will it stop? Can't wait to change how i dress. Lay my hands on the things i want to get. Ahhhh, work work work.

This is the first thing i got to do when i come back from taiwan. Damn right.

P.S Who am i to say anything anyway?

P.S.S Who wakes up at 3 plus in the morning to drop a msg saying they miss talking to me? Apparently someone did. Brought a smile to my face, brightening the darkest corner. =) Stay safe. Peace out!

I am never good enough. We are all judgmental creatures. Go on, judge me, for i am judging you this instant.

What's A Clock Without The Batteries

Have u ever had the feel that time is eating you up?

Biting off your flesh bit by bit, just a matter of time before it consumes you fully.

Feeling every tick of the time creeps by, yet nothing can be done. This is like the epitome of helplessness, the worse kind of feeling one will ever experience. The escalating sense of foreboding. How long more?

When a mind overworked, it auto-format itself like a computer down with virus. It becomes a clean slate. Vacuous.

Last thing i want to talk about is the 2 greatest power one can ever possess.

1st: The mind is the most powerful thing, it let us imagine, think, apprehend and scheme. But this are not the things i want to highlight, its the power to make believe that makes the mind impressive, if not, it's just a pile of crumpled up juicy squirmy splat of pulsating organism.

2nd: The power of suggestion. People often underestimate this, because they are unaware of how this actually affects them. Suggestion slowly creeps into one's mind and start disconnecting the thoughts and reconnecting it to mess it all up. Enabling from a series of minuscules changes to radical restructuring of behaviours and emotions.

Finished Being Human Season 2 & 3. Soon to be done with The American. Working at Pioneer Mall. Feel free to come find me on 12, 13, 16, 19 & 20th march. 6.30pm to 8.30pm. =))))))))

No one wins against time. I am racing with time.

I'm Into Something Good

Guy Who Would Never Fall In Love

Interesting how i give off this impression.

Arghh, where are all these strong compelling feelings coming from. Foolish is a man, foolish is a man. I will be blatant. I miss you.

Seems like i am going to be seen in another light. Maybe. Maybe not. We will see how this turns out. Though i did hope it did turn out good.

Tell me i didn't make the wrong choice again. Honestly, i feel stupid enough. Okay, maybe i should refrain from speaking to you for a bit and i don't need any answers from you.

Intoxicate the lovelorn. Down the slippery slope, where treasure remains to be found.

If life was a medley

When i spill the beans, don't cry over spilled milk

Did it with a straight face

I am expecting it to be awkward

Love how this messes my mind

You will be tongue-tied.

Made a wrong turn, once or twice

Trying to get up that great big hill of hope

Than having you stalk my every thought

I learned to live half alive

Eventually nothing changed. And you will just laugh it off. So just put life into perspective. I can't wait to see how things fall.

It still pricks. I am doing a free fall.