3-6-9

After the chat yesterday, i think i have found my resolve.. When i came back at 2+ in the morning, i dun feel tired at all. It seems as if u are constantly feeding me ample amount of energy to stay awake.. At 5 in the morning when i tried to slp, i couldnt, you seem to have bought all the tickets of the train as my train of thoughts was filled with u, u alone takes up most if not all of my thoughts. It was a nite of reminiscence. I realised that you were the only one that i can be my usual self with. We share the same frequency and character.. And i am sure you have nvr realised i liked you for a period of time and i always thought that it was because we were too close with each other that i felt that way so i tried to distant from you. All seems fine, until i met you again. I dunno why i felt the awkwardness and i bet you felt it as well, its like a mutual thing. And suddenly i was treated as a non-existent by you. You are the first person to make me go back on my words and throw my pride away to try to get you back.. Somehow, you made me go all over you though you dun even care if we would ever rebound. Questions of me and you together occasionally pops into my head and made me wonder. The actions that you do is able to affect my mood totally, its as if i am under some kind of drug. After distancing from you, i realised i seldom contact any other gals as well.. Whenever, i see ur msg now, it nvr fails to bring a smile across my face, sometimes during class i will juz laugh to myself for no apparent reason. I felt really comfortable being with you and that i dun care wat would become of us in the future, but now, i will try my best to get you back as a fren or maybe more than just fren. I have planned something but it all depends on how u reacts.

I have my resolve, are you juz going to continue this?

Hallelujah

This few weeks had been rough for me and today was relieving.. And i spent ard $100 yesterday.. =x felt so bad.. Today i went for bbq gathering and straight after that, PRATA session.. Totally awesome.. Never felt so good for quite a long time.. Very insightful indeed.. Have many more thoughts and ideas running through my mind, totally kept me awake at this hour of time.. Had a clearer picture of where i shld go and wat i shld do.. Alrite, shall finish my journal now..

We hit it off well, but can we end it well?

Suffocating Under Words Of Sorrow (What Can I Do)

Seriously, I did wat i could to get u back, but ur aloofness makes me feel like you dun give a fucking damn at all.. Fine, escape all u want.. If this is wat u want, fine, go ahead with it.. I shant bother no more till u come and find me.. Had enough, ur indifference to wat i do seriously deafens me like never before.. Affect me in every single way. I seriously cannot think of anything more that i can do to rectify.

On a lighter note, went out with Meiying today to watch Angels & Demons, awesome much though they changed the last branding to something uncool.. =.= Bought my clothes as well, now the only thing left to do is to send it for printing.. =D Saw desmond and we somewhat had a mini telepathic conversation which kinda made me laugh.. =x haha..

What can i seriously do?

Makes Me Wonder

Gratitude.

(I will be the first in the queue for this)

I threw my pride away and bite my own tongue for wat i said, but u still choose to escape without giving me a reason. Now i have to lay in it and deal with things left unsaid. I wonder if it makes a difference if i continue to try. Little did i know the effects you had on me would be so drastic but i still hope you are living happily. Thank you for being such a good friend to me and that you will never be replaced. Even though things turn out this way, Things i learnt from you or wat have turned out now had made me realised and understand much more. We might never even talk, or even meet each other but when you need me, i will be there for you. How true is this, 'Love the heart that hurts you the most , but never hurt the heart that loves you the most'.

Lost & Found.

Just a little too not over you

N used to be one of E's best friend and also the first to date E out. But things spiralled so horrendously that they were treating each other as non-existent even though they didnt even have bad blood or quarrels or anything b4.. Its juz awfully weird.. N felt that things will nvr be the same again but P encourage N to try and rectify this instead of looking back and regret in the future. N might grab this chance or let go. Recently, it havent been going well for N, everything seems to come crashing on him. Today he realised it kinda prick him when he discovered something abt M. Scandals of N and E still lurks but no one knows that behind the scene N used to carry a torch for M. Much to his surprised, denial and bewilderment, he dunno whether this torch has extinguished or is it still flickering discreetly. M better takekaire of herself.

On a lighter note, i went for camp today.. Awesome.. Did not interact much though.. =X

A lifetime to bind, a second to change..

Story Of A Girl

Awkwardness

Calla used to blossom prettily under the care of a girl and a boy who were quite close, until the girl left for her overseas undertaking. When the girl was back, however, did not inform the boy but left the boy alone to tend the Calla. When the time the boy discovered the girl was back, he also realised that the Calla were withering. It was his decision to leave the Calla to wither than to minister since he felt that its pointless. When the girl went back to the Calla, she tried to revivify the Calla, but soon came to realize that its too much for her to do it alone. Recently, the boy and the girl met again, and flashback of the Calla came back to the boy and the girl. Now that the Calla is on the brink of death, the only way to regenerate is to have a little miracle, but is it even possible?

Enough said, now that sch have started and having to cope with work and cca, I am so busy that I am flustered as to whether I can juggle another cca even though at this rate, I will crumble with a doubt, which is something I cannot afford to.

Are u replacable? I doubt so.. You are one of a kind, but its sad that we turned out this way.

A day of awkwardness, a lifetime of remembrance.