Monster

One that could make your pessimism go and fill you up with optimism.

Today my emotions is like human pulse. One moment it is sky high, and the next it just plunged to the depth of the world. Reading people's blog also makes me feel down. Today's work made me love my workplace and i already miss my uber funny and cute colleagues. Why i so famous in my office even as a temp? haha. Heard so many gossips regarding me. Everyone's attached, why like that? I sad.

I honestly feel damn down, like i have no purpose in life, nothing to look forward to, come on, i need a purpose in life, i feel damn negative now! Shit this negative aura that is diffusing from the world. I feel like shit now. The deal of self-annihilation. Stop the world from turning into a monster.

Interesting how she read me.

Sometimes u appear to be happy,but actually u've got a lot of hidden worries and insecurities in u.maybe i think too much.. - Li Jing

When you hear my cries, save me from my distress.

Casanova

Went for dinner at Dallas with Eileen tonight. It was a pretty nice place. Ambience and everything. Eileen was gobbling up her meal while i was eating mine at a snail pace. It was a nice meetup with her and i will definitely catch her up soon. Thanks for the treat. haha. It was a surprise that you even msg me out of the blue to tell me you want to meet me and treat me dinner. lol. <3

And i received my birthday card from Meiying! haha, thanks. Its so cute. "RING-A-DING. . . . . THE BOSS IS HERE". Love the card. We can always go foodhunt, cuz i can't really think of any place to eat. haha. Expeditions! hehehe. And yup, ann siang is one of my favourite place. hehe.

Life has been quite a bliss recently.

Would you play this game or lose this hand?

Pain

Yesterday was another awesome day for me. Went to celebrate my birthday with Jeremy, Pearle & Violet at Sentosa. Bananaboat and Kayaking kills but it was uber fun. Was so shagged after the day and when i woke up today, my whole body aches so badly, and i have cuts all over me. My leg also keep sticking on my shoes due to the blood oozing out. =x Pain is something i couldn't get enough. It's a note that keeps me sane.

To my cute little gentle giant, Jeremy. I know you have always got my back and you know i will always get yours too. Really appreciated all that you have done since we were kids. NAWT, just kidding, since we became close, so close we could touch. lol. kidding. Sometimes i flared at random moments but you should know i didnt mean it. Its like some things just get to me somehow. =) Either way, thanks for being such a good friend. Oh oh, last thing, i am really sorry for delaying whatever i have promised.

This is as good as the first celebration i had on sunday, Pearle. Just wanted to tell you that sometimes things might not feel like it will be as good, but more than often, it will turn out as good as others if not better. I really enjoyed the day. I really appreciate your presence even though you like to ninja on occasions, and not to forget that i could have heart to heart talk with. Even though i dunno whether are you being perfunctory with me, if you get what i mean. LOL!

VIOLET! The girl that is ever so busy with this and that. Thanks for the food that you prepared for the picnic. And also thanks for tolerating all my nonsense and my sarcasm and crap, you know i don't mean it. Sometimes i feel you like to do things on impulse and that i don't wish to say anything because i know it's futile and will end up with conflicts. But i just want you to know that i will be there if you need me and whatever i say in times like these will be of your interest no matter whether you think i am just being an asshole or what. Because being direct is a virtue, i dun like people to beat around the bush and thus i won't do it as well. =)

All in all, i love you guys.

Btw, the jacket hoodie is damn comfy. Thank you all once again. Kisses and hugs for you little kids. Oh, i am meeting Eileen tml. What up! And pictures will be up here as well once Violet send me or upload to facebook. =)

We could hang around for a little catch up, even if the world crashes before our eyes.

When Epilepsy Was Non-existent

Let's keep this raw.

Aites people. Today is such a wonderful day. Met with Julien, Jiawei, Hui min & Wenxin for my advanced celebration. Love these people, even if my heart would be smashed to smithereens.

I am sorry Jiawei. I got to say that is Julien's gift was the best. Really, things so simple just skyrocketed its worth. It's one of a kind. Love you Julien girl.

To my dearest like-minded soul who is warped in so many ways, i will only use the perfume when i meet the right one, i dunno why, but i guess that makes it special. ;) I will catch you soon, before you enlist. Do i hear an aite?

You are one of the guys (idonthavemanyguyfriendstobeginwith) that i really treat as a close friend and keep in contact with. I mean even though we weren't as close as what we used to be, but hanging out with you really makes me feel honoured(?) though often paired with inferiority but it doesn't matter. I hoped we did still keep in close contact in the future and you got to keep me updated with your eventful life. HEHE. If you dun know who i am referring to, yea, its you, Jiawei mai boi.

Huimin, Huimin, as much as i have been damn sarcastic with you everytime, you know that i meant it all as a joke, so please don't take it to heart. I shall be less sarcastic with you, and i know everytime i have been missing out on your occasions and etc but i really didn't mean it, i am truly sorry about it. Hugs and kisses. OH! Before i forget, pls be punctual k. Dun keep people waiting. Be nice. HAHAHAHA.

Last but not forgotten, the ever so cranky lady, Hu Wenxin. Thanks for the treat @ Red Dot Brewhouse. But when's our candlelit dinner? ;) Oh, and the thing you say about me always bullying you is unjustified. =( School's starting for you so prep yourself up for it, while your boy toy enters the army to protect our country. =) And damn you are decisive, like a cool only, why so cool? If only i could. haha. <3

Once again, thanks guys for the celebration, the gifts and all that you have done or not done and for sticking around with me for all these times, for all these times. Stay safe and till then.

The damsels and the sleazebags.

Harder To Breathe

May you live in interesting times.

May you find what you're looking for.

In a few day's time, there's going to be that many hypocritical people acting like we are friends and we are cool but the fact is that they are just passers-by in my life. ACQUAINTANCES. i call it.

Anne Vyalitsyna is damn hawt!

opps, sidetracked.

Can people just stop being perfunctory with me? I really got to ditch this whole bunch of assholes that just keep saying they are good to meet up but it never happened. Seriously, your mum teaches you ladies to be perfunctory? Tired of putting in effort for this kind of people. Efforts wasted. Life is hard to breathe enough, i don't need you nor you nor you.

I am hoping for a change. To kick start, i will drop contacts with all the perfunctory ladies. You all can go fuck yourself. Thanks. =)

What we could have been matters not, what we are matters.

Through Struggles

So much to say, so little to spare.

Disclaimer: If your livers are weak in handling vulgarities, please refrain from reading this post. You did be intoxicated and might pass out or even lead to death.

Wanted to find a picture for my watch but i just cant find it even in the official website, this company should really update their website more frequently for new designs. Anyway, that aside, am a proud owner of a SKAGEN watch.

I feel damn weak, i could break anytime now. Its been real tiring to hold all these shit inside me.

My inner demons are like blood-seeking feral monsters crying out. I am totally losing it, who wants to break me?

Can't stand people who are in the service industry yet their attitude are like shit. It's bad communication and etiquette training(if they are even sent for it) that makes service brought to us sucks. Like seriously, no mum teach them manners. Either that or that the wife, mum or daughter got raped so badly that they are venting their frustration on us, consumers. No joke. FUCKING TURNOFF, like the guy that works at vivo's citibank. Still dare to 'OI, XIAO DI' me, i should have retort with 'OI KI LAN, FUCK YOUR MUM' instead of 'SHE MO!'.

Note: I really hate people honking at me when i am crossing the road as a law abiding citizen. I won't hesitate to show them the fingers and tell them to go fuck their parents. Or maybe i will fuck the mum if she's hawt or like the daughter or something. Okay, kidding, shan't play parents or related people. but yea, that's how much i dislike being honked at.

Caught transformer with Julien and happened to bump into Hui Min at 313.

I just wish to smile like this genuinely. Is it that hard to be happy?

When i drop my false front, who would i be then?

Note to self: NEVER EVER.

The Shades Of Poison Trees

If i am to describe myself with one thing, it did be the classic wooden dummy. I take in all sorts of blows and treat it like nothing. Its a kind of implosion. It doesn't fight back no matter how hard it is hit. It just provides an equal force back on the person hitting it so as to not let itself break.

Someone told me that i often give the wrong impression once i am close to girls.

But they also agree that i banter so much that people does not know when i am serious or joking. So how is it possible that i give girls the impression that i like them? It does not make any sense to me.

Ruoqi said that i am egoistic but not confident. Do i really lag confidence?

Valerie said that i give off the vibe of 'I am super comfy being alone'. This reminds me of what Pearle said, 'to me, you don't look like the sort that would even fall in love', which Valerie also said.

Interesting what people actually thinks of me.

I just love people telling me how they perceive me. Intrigues me indefinitely.

Sometimes we don't clear the air for we don't want to be half-ass. The shot needs to be taken by someone else.

The Last Goodbye

You can't drop a bombshell without hurting anyone.

So damn tired everyday. Meetings for this week are like packed i hope. Dun cancel out on me people. haha.

I finally did something good.

Go Fly A Kite, this song is so apt for you.

It will hold its silence forever.

Part Of Me Wonders

When your cheeks are fat, there's no hiding it.

Today is a wild ride, from a uber shitty day to a somewhat fine day. Woke up to Pearle's call and i traveled down to SIM to crash the lecture, just to people watch.heh. But the people there are mehhhhh. Saw quite a few acquaintances and some was shocked when i said hi. I must have changed much. tsk tsk. Headed over to somerset after that to accompany Eileen while she works. And i freaking dropped my phone. pfft. As usual, its pretty funny to talk to her, like a short catch up. Off i go at 6 plus to meet Jiawei. Had our dinner at A.venue. Pretty awesome place and the waitress is pretty sweet looking though she is a definite scene kid. Jiawei was behaving like a lovelorn throughout and now he is such a happy kid. How i wish i did be like him. I have to admit i am pretty envious of his life. Somehow i feel inferior around him but i still like hanging out with him. I am just a fag i guess.

I found you. Stalking has never been made more fun. Approximately 20 tabs to find someone. I am so happy that Jiawei is going to treat me dinner for a week.

I guess i was born to please. tsk tsk.

Let's not be half-ass.

Be direct.

SWAG, i cant say enough how important this is.

I JUST WANT TO BE A NATURAL.

Oh, seriously, effort need to be seen. not just say.

If not, GTFO.

There's something real charming about girls when they play instruments. I am a sucker for this. The kind of sexiness not derived through pure looks but just awesomeness.

I just want to be at ease. I just want it to be simple.