Road to Nowhere

Emptied.

Heart to heart talk anyone?

Levels

Travelling to a place that is of a faster timezone, what happened to the 'lost' time? Does it mean we traveled through time?

Coming back ain't so sweet after all. Doesn't seem so different. It's like the world just passes by without holding on to my excitement.

Watched 'You are the apple of my eye' and honestly, i can say, i miss studying and would give it all to study again, to work hard and do well.

Reminded of the time when i was walking on the streets of Taiwan, trying to find the famous Yong He Tao Huey, partly to have a taste of it and also to hold onto some warmth against the chilly weather. Makes me want to travel again with awesome company.

There are quite a few people that i would really love to travel with, but i doubt it will happened, oh well, such is life, people are perfunctory, we say for the sake of saying, giving words so often that it becomes trash.

The reason why i dislike responsibility towards other. To sink into this vicious trap set by the world.

I still dislike the world i am in.

Some Nights

We accept the love we think we deserve.

This is pretty true. I guess we can tell whether someone has inferior complex or not.
Most of us often felt that we are finite and we are nothing. But little do we see that we are something to some people or even to ourselves. Someday we were all be part of a certain photograph, but right now we are real, controlling what will eventually become of us. That we are not some sad soul. We are alive and wondering. That we are infinite.


I guess i just need more of this moment. I want to be with people i care about and to drive around and do all things without giving a hoot about any micro matters. Right now, i just want to shout without concern. On top of that, i wanna get inked. Already had a rough idea planned. Let see how all this fold out.


5 more days and i am gone, pretty glad yet not that i am flying off for quite a substantial amount of days. What if i lose myself while being there? Will i get stopped or will i stop?

Airbase, a place i can shout till my lungs hurt and no one will give a damn for they cant hear me when aircraft takes off. It takes a part of me away too. Guess i will be pretty lost in a foreign place for quite a while but oh well, time to step out of my comfort zone. Life is like a candle. We burn and we leave marks of our presence. It's just a matter whether we are burning away our life without purpose or make it fulfilling.

I need not answer to my crimes. Label me however you want. Avoiding so i won't falter.

What do i stand for? what do i stand? Most nights, i don't know anymore.

I am a wallflower.

Smile

Disappointment comes in all form.

It pretty much speaks about me. My expectation of others and myself.

Pretty glad i am going India for detachment, getting away from all that has been bothering my mind.

Knowledge is everything. 7 more days. All hell will break loose.

Honestly, sometimes i just hope my dad will just die. I am not ashamed that i have harbored such thoughts, neither am i glad. I just think i am being honest with myself.

Stop saying things you don't mean.

MUSE

By what right do i have to want anyone?
When i am the sacrificial lamb and the things you do make me think otherwise, how hard can it be for me to get use to it.
People just make me sick. All those empty promises.


Each thought is separate and might not relate to the same person.

You cant be my muse anymore.

Bulletproof

You frightened me.

I guess right now you should have realised, we are drifting further apart. When you simply can't be bothered to reply, i simply can't be bothered to contact you anymore. It ain't the same as before. The reason why i ain't doing anything is because i feel obliged to, not a want by me.

No matter how we try to paint a picture, its just a pretty facade.

I guess if i could lose you, i could lose anyone.

Excerpt

Evans woke up from his sleep and started behaving like a child, getting his mum to feed him fruits. Never had he permitted that, but at that instance, he indulged in his memories as a child for the first time since he grew up. He never let his emotions show, guarding even the closest people around him. It isn't easy to live a life of his, given that he had actually always been blessed with many many small joys. People always thought of him as queer and weird, and he is hard to be with, but the fact is, he wouldn't want people who he know would eventually become close to him, be close.

He utterly detest 3 things, empty promises, disappointment and losing people. Disappointment especially, took a huge chunk out of his life, setbacks are his biggest burden that he always carry with him to make sure he doesn't end up failing again. He always felt that he don't deserve all that he have and could have due to a past incident. If someone is undeserving, how can he ever let anyone be near and settle for this mediocre self. Its an insult to the very being.

A child with many hidden feelings.