Dust On The Ground

Thoughts rampant, words lost.

It has been long since i last been to a wake. Yesterday, i went to my friend's dad wake since 4pm till 7am this morning. When i first reached, it hit me hard enough that i am at a loss of words. I mean for him to lose someone that close and coping that well, it left me thinking, can i be the same as him or will i just lose sight? Shudders at every thought and looking at his dad laying right inside just siphon even the simplest thing right out of my mind, as if i am a walking dead.

That aside, i saw Alvy and Hobart there as well. Alvy especially since we had not talked since an incident and it was a pretty good catch up with him. He really matured quite a lot compared to when he was still sec 2. And its really nice of him to tell me that he really missed the time we hanged out together when i was sec 4 and he was sec 2 and that, that was the most memorable days that he had in secondary school. I mean like seriously, i am a sucker for this kind of comments. Be it from a guy or girl.

And lastly, this few nights i have been thinking a lot, and i think i really have inferior complex. There's just too much pessimism in me that causes my confidence level to ebb. I think i am just another ball-less loser. So many fears that couldn't be contained but could easily be concealed under the veil of awesomeness.

When you worry too much, your worries becomes reality.