Excerpt

Evans woke up from his sleep and started behaving like a child, getting his mum to feed him fruits. Never had he permitted that, but at that instance, he indulged in his memories as a child for the first time since he grew up. He never let his emotions show, guarding even the closest people around him. It isn't easy to live a life of his, given that he had actually always been blessed with many many small joys. People always thought of him as queer and weird, and he is hard to be with, but the fact is, he wouldn't want people who he know would eventually become close to him, be close.

He utterly detest 3 things, empty promises, disappointment and losing people. Disappointment especially, took a huge chunk out of his life, setbacks are his biggest burden that he always carry with him to make sure he doesn't end up failing again. He always felt that he don't deserve all that he have and could have due to a past incident. If someone is undeserving, how can he ever let anyone be near and settle for this mediocre self. Its an insult to the very being.

A child with many hidden feelings.

Mix & Match

Seriously, so sick of planning for people's birthday, or rather i should say, planning for a day to go out with the specific person. Its always either our time clashes if not busy and what not. Really tired of this. People, stop telling me you are busy with this and that or fucking shit. Can't you hear yourself at the end of the day that all that you said are excuses. Its all about time management and prioritization. FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

I really did put in effort to start my projects for you people that i care, but i guess you people just don't appreciate it, is it that hard to make a fucking day for me. For all that i have planned in my mind, not worth any of your time? NO? NO?! THEN FUCK IT.

There's a few people that honestly, i would like to apologize for a gazillion times but its all in the mind and not put to action cause i dun wanna go appearing out of nowhere. But yea, i shall apologize to you, i know i was such a stupid and childish asshole, saying all those shit to you, but yea, i am really glad you found someone much much much better than me. I guess i was just an immature brat back then. Oh well.

Have you ever wanna get attached but yet at the same time wanna be single? I have had such thoughts often. Its like you really feel like getting attached but yet you feel you wont be good enough for the other person, material and non-material wise so much that you would eventually decide to be single. I am such conflicted soul.

Neither acknowledgement nor disregard.