Dust On The Ground

Thoughts rampant, words lost.

It has been long since i last been to a wake. Yesterday, i went to my friend's dad wake since 4pm till 7am this morning. When i first reached, it hit me hard enough that i am at a loss of words. I mean for him to lose someone that close and coping that well, it left me thinking, can i be the same as him or will i just lose sight? Shudders at every thought and looking at his dad laying right inside just siphon even the simplest thing right out of my mind, as if i am a walking dead.

That aside, i saw Alvy and Hobart there as well. Alvy especially since we had not talked since an incident and it was a pretty good catch up with him. He really matured quite a lot compared to when he was still sec 2. And its really nice of him to tell me that he really missed the time we hanged out together when i was sec 4 and he was sec 2 and that, that was the most memorable days that he had in secondary school. I mean like seriously, i am a sucker for this kind of comments. Be it from a guy or girl.

And lastly, this few nights i have been thinking a lot, and i think i really have inferior complex. There's just too much pessimism in me that causes my confidence level to ebb. I think i am just another ball-less loser. So many fears that couldn't be contained but could easily be concealed under the veil of awesomeness.

When you worry too much, your worries becomes reality.

Miss or Not, No Matter

Love can happen anywhere, at any time.

Ya know, this statement made me wonder, is it like a love relationship it's referring to or making love. Its like when someone breaks up with her boyfriend and feel that her world has collapsed and she miss him and blah blah blah every single day of these two months, and all of a sudden, she got together with another party. I mean it makes me wonder how much love is involved. How hard the bed creaks each night instead of emotionally.

It totally makes me think that either she is desperate, or that she is too used to having a guy right there for her. It appears that if she is without a boyfriend, her life is meaningless. Come on, get a life, you do know that your life sucks. Think about how people will perceived you. I mean its pretty disgusting if you are just using another guy to forget your ex and if not you are an utter slut desperate for guy. Either way, you suck. Don't go telling people that you ain't a whore when the next moment you are seen as a whore.

Anyway, with all these said, i do shun away and give up because i don't really know what love is and i might continue doing just that. There's just too many factors involved that deters me. A constant barrage of 'no' to going into a relationship.

Sorry if the above story seems applicable to you, but this was the most recent case and i have known quite a few others that have the same life diss-gusting story.

Steer your destiny's hot rod before its too late to earn any epitaph.

Talking To The Moon

NS is creeping nearer every minute and all i want is for me to master swimming. I have no mood for all else, not even clubbing nor playing poker. This totally sucks.

Oh, a note, i shall make it a point to backpack Japan, just one day, i did be gone from here, and there i did make my presence known. Another thing is that i hereby promise to pick up something during NS just for the sake of personal gratification.

All these aside, what's the woe of watching fashion shows? Apparently, it is the fact that the lack of money to don what those models are showcasing and the idea to create a personal line of fashion. I shall start my humble assault on the commonplace when inspirations strike. The woes aside, there's nothing to hate about it. You get the best of both world in admiring the beauty of ladies and the quaint pieces that shout statements. http://live.marcjacobs.com/live/ I love how Marc Jacobs kickoff his show. Very whimsical.

Bleak are the days ahead. Shallow water runs deep under cover.

In The Sun

Back from bangkok with Jeremy. I would say most of the trips are pretty interesting and even though i got scammed i still liked it, at least i experienced the feeling of getting scammed. I mean its minor scam not those huge scam that is pulled on me. The trip would have been better if i have much more cash and the fact i know i have ultra mood swing which annoyed Jeremy badly, but you cant blame me fully cuz what he said sometimes makes no sense, like trolling statements, and if it really is so, he got me. Also i am damn tired somehow there, as if there's major time shift, which is weird. Other than that, life's good there and i half learnt how to swim already. =D Thanks to Jeremy. Time to utilize every second that i am awake to its fullest. Ciao.

Restless.